The Ability to Remember and Forget

The Ability to Remember and Forget

When bad things happen, we tend to harbor the memories for a lifetime. The same is often true for dogs. There are countless stories of dogs that have experienced a trauma creating a life altering effect. For instance, a small dog that is bitten by a much larger dog will hold on to that memory and avoid contact with larger dogs for the rest of his days.

But Bailey was different.

One night when Bailey and I were still living in my parents’ house, Bailey was left at home while my parents went out for the evening. (I was out of town at the time). When they returned they noticed that Bailey did not run to the door to greet them. When they found him, he was lying in the foyer with his ears pinned back in fear. Upon further investigation, they found that the back door had been pried open by burglars.

Although we will never know for sure, our suspicion is that the burglars either hit Bailey or threatened to hit him. Whatever the case may be, they had certainly scared him.

For the few weeks that followed the break-in, Bailey refused to run to the door to greet anyone. Beyond the car that was stolen we feared that the burglars had robbed Bailey of his sense of security in my parents’ house. But part of Bailey’s beauty was his ability to forget unpleasant events. Before long Bailey had returned to his normal self. He was not fearful of greeting new people and never expressed any of the aggression that is typical of dogs that have been though such an event.

As I look back on our lives together it still amazes me what Bailey chose to remember and what he chose to forget. Even after several months away from my office in Dunedin, FL Bailey would remember exactly which office was mine (or his); he would remember where the Milk Bones are kept at a place he had only been once; and if you had ever played with him or taken him for a walk he would always show you he remembered you by bringing you a toy or his leash.

On the other hand, Bailey always chose to forget life’s most unpleasant memories. Whether it was a trip to the vet or getting bitten by another dog, Bailey elected to let those memories vanish into thin air.

Bailey’s unique ability to remember the good and forget the bad serves as a lesson I hope to keep with me for the rest of my days. It is yet another ideal that I have strived for in my life and continually fallen short.

I think if Bailey could have communicated his mission in life it would have been: Live. Love. Play. Remember. And of course….forget.

The Flood and The Four Seasons

The Flood and The Four Seasons

I began writing about my life with Bailey because I was afraid that one day I would forget all the wonderful stories that had occurred over the years. But if writing in this space has taught me anything it is that Bailey, if nothing else, was memorable.

About eleven or twelve years ago I had returned home from a friend’s wedding to find my apartment flooded in three feet of water. The water was warm and Bailey was soaked. I found him by the front door wagging his tail as if to say: “I’m ok, Dad.” A pipe had burst in my apartment and Bailey and I would have to find new accommodations for over a month.

The insurance company assured me that they would cover all costs for the damage to my apartment, my stay in a hotel and a kennel for Bailey. “A kennel???” No way. Bailey was not a kennel dog. Even when traveling without Bailey he would always stay with my parents or friends—but never a kennel. I informed the insurance adjuster that Bailey would be wherever I am—and that was not negotiable.

As good fortune would have it, the only hotel in the city that would accept dogs was The Four Seasons. So for over a month Bailey and I lived in the luxury of the finest hotel in Toronto.

Not surprisingly it wasn’t long before everyone at The Four Seasons knew Bailey. Because my room did not have a kitchen, room service often provided at least one of my meals each day. After about a week, the room service operator would routinely ask: “Can we send anything up for Bailey?”

The concierge and valet also came to know Bailey. Sometimes they would even keep plastic bags in their pockets in case an extra one was needed to poop and scoop on one of his evening walks. “Hello, sir” they would say while looking at Bailey, “Oh, and hello to you too Mr. Godfrey.”

Even after we had moved back into the apartment, staff at The Four Seasons would often inquire about Bailey. He had certainly left an impression.

Bailey created the same lasting impression at the Loews Hotel in Miami Beach. While living in the Tampa area, we often spent weekends in South Beach. Upon arrival, Bailey would be greeted by hotel staff as if he was the one who made the reservation and left his credit card to hold the room. On one occasion, when Melinn and I were living in Toronto, we took a trip to Miami leaving Bailey with my parents. When we arrived, several of the staff looked around to for Bailey. It was as if we walked in naked.

The truth is that Bailey never cared for either The Four Seasons or the Loews. Its not that he didn’t enjoy himself--rather that the luxuries of high-end hotels paled in comparison to the comfort of people who loved having him around. As long as we were together and he could continue to bring happiness to those around him we could have been in a roach-infested motel or a homeless shelter for that matter.

In the days, weeks and months since he passed, I am continually surprised at how many people want to share their own special and personal memories about Bailey. It feels good to know that I am not alone in being touched by this truly unique dog. With each story that I hear and each story that write my fear of forgetting slowly starts to dissipate.

Although he is gone, I will never forget these stories. He is a part of me and he always will be.