My Guide

My Guide

I call this journey the Cancer Iditarod. Once you find yourself on it, you must follow it all the way to the end. There are no easy off-ramps on this highway, and you must get used to the rules and the pace.

It’s totally possible to do this, especially since your partner is your dog—probably your best friend and the best team player you could wish for.

Dog Cancer Survival Guide, Demian Dressler, DVM

The first step in our fight was to find out everything. To educate myself so I could ask the right questions and select the best form of treatment. This brought me to Demian Dressler’s Dog Cancer Survival Guide. Dr. Dressler’s book appealed to me for several reasons:

Firstly, The Guide takes a Full Spectrum approach to cancer treatment. It looks at both traditional veterinary medicine as well as alternative strategies as part of its overall approach to fighting this killer.

Secondly, it identified me, Bailey’s owner, as his Primary Health Advocate. I am his best friend and his father. Only I could make the decisions that are best for Bailey.

Thirdly, The Guide did not try to act as a substitute for in-person veterinary advice. Rather it sought to arm me with as much information as possible to allow me to fulfill my role as Bailey’s Primary Health Advocate.

Fourth, it provided a keen insight into the mind of a dog. Whether I realized it or not, Bailey could sense my emotional state. I had noticed this anytime I was sick or sad—Bailey just knew. My emotional state was important not only for Bailey, but to allow me to make the very best decisions regarding his well being.

Lastly and possibly most importantly, The Guide provided hope. It reminded me that “a cancer diagnosis does not equal instant death”. And there was still some life to be lived—and still an opportunity to love and express that love.

In providing the overview of its Full Spectrum Cancer Care, The Guide provided this quote from Lance Armstrong:

If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally. Give up or fight like hell.

The opening chapters of The Guide were aimed at helping me understand the nature of the Cancer Iditarod and prepare me for becoming Bailey’s Primary Health Advocate. One of The Guide’s many exercises was designed to help me get reconnected with Bailey. Now, I know what you may be thinking—this is all hocus pocus. How could anyone me more connected with their dog than I was with Bailey? But life had become busy. Between work, three growing children, my time with the Ontario SPCA and other leisurely pursuits I had somehow neglected my “Ace”. And now it was time to fix this.

The exercise of telling Bailey his Life Story not only assisted in reconnecting with Bailey, it also helped me remember many of the stories that I have written about in this space. It also allowed me to focus less on my own feelings of distress and more on Bailey and the battle he was facing.

So on a cold winter night in January while Bailey lay quietly on the couch in our basement, I kneeled on the floor beside him and told him his Life Story. I gently stroked his head and started from the first day I held him in my arms. I laughed a little but I mostly cried. I reminded him of all our adventures. I spoke of our time in California and our many trips to Florida. I also told him about all the important events in our lives and how he had touched all of us in a way that I couldn’t fully comprehend. I also talked about the non-events in our lives—the times when we just hung out together on a warm summer day or on a night at home in front of the television.

I had my doubts about actually telling Bailey the story of his life. I, probably like you, thought that this kind of thing was too touchy-feely—even for me. But I trusted Dr. Dressler’s words that after I finished telling Bailey his Life Story I would understand why—and I did. After 13 years together, I didn’t think I could love Bailey anymore than I already did—but I was wrong. On that night, I fell in love with him all over again, just as I had 13 years earlier in Simi Valley, CA.

Cancer is horrible. It robs us of the most important things that we have. But if there is anything good that I can take from this whole experience its that it gave me the chance to thank Bailey for being my best friend and provided me with opportunity to fall in love all over again.